Ways to make your husband love you more are numerous depending on the situation. In a marriage where trust have eroded, there’s always this thought of “How can I make my husband love me more?” or “How can I re-activate love in our relationship”?.
Sometimes he simply needs a boost. A boost to his ego so he will believe you want him, physically as well as emotionally. Sometimes he needs some extra effort on your part to be enticed and drawn toward you.
Just as there are a myriad of reasons he might seem to have lost interest in you, there are also a myriad of ways to recapture his interest and make him want to pursue you again.
Where has love gone to?
It is not that love completely vanishes from your married life. You both married each other because you love each other. Love is not a feeling that can disappear all of a sudden. It is just that certain things happen that the intensity and passion that you both felt for each other diminishes to a great extent. Now you might be wondering, how can I make my husband love me again?
Both of you can be at fault for the coldness in your married life. There are many reasons for which you might be functioning like robots in your marriage and don’t feel that intensity and passion anymore.
Some of the reasons behind the disappearance of love from your marriage are:
- You both might have got pre-occupied with family commitments and responsibilities
- Children might have become a top priority in your life
- You both might have shifted your attention to earning loads of money in order to make your family life secure
- Communication gap between the two of you might have widened because of work or family obligations
- Both of you fail to give ample time to each other
- Little gestures of appreciation like making a cup of tea for the partner or taking the partner out for dinner are missing in your married life
- Either of you might have high expectations from married life which are not being met
- You both become so familiar with each other that there is hardly anything new or exciting left to explore.
14 Ways to make your husband love you more
1. Take one action step each day.
If you know your spouse’s love languages, make a concerted effort to do one thing each day to speak your spouse’s love language. If his love language is words of affirmation, slip a note into his pocket before he leaves for work, or send him a text. Or just tell him one thing you love about him before bed each night. Set a reminder on your phone each day at the same time reminding you to do one practical thing to let him know you value him.
If you know your spouse’s love languages, make a concerted effort to do one thing each day to speak your spouse’s love language.
2. Allow him to be the head.
No man wants his authority to be challenged as the head of the family. Learn to make him the head in his jurisdiction; do not make him feel less of a man by questioning his authority. Even if you earn more than him, being submissive would make him love you more and respect you.
3. Be mindful of your partner’s wants and feelings not yours alone.
In our society, it’s so easy to become self-absorbed. I realize it the minute I set foot in a developing country how used to having what I want when I want it I am. And in those situations where I’m serving those in need, it’s really good for me to learn more patience and to intentionally focus on others. Ask yourself: What does he want? What does he need? How can you help him? How can you see things a little more from his perspective?
4. Tell him what you need.
As women, it’s especially easy for us to become caretakers and give too much. Sometimes we don’t even know what we need because we focus too much on taking care of everyone else. Ask yourself what you need. What do you really need? Then be brave, and use your voice.
5. Feel the feeling but do the right thing.
Don’t react out of emotion or anger. (Be the person you want to be in your relationship).
6. Call him pet names
It is boring calling your husband by your child’s name; he had an identity before he became a father. Use beautiful words for him, generate your own unique name and make him feel special.
7. Make him his favorite dish when he is broke.
Men go through lots of mental stress when they are broke. This is because they know they have a family who depends on them for their survival. You can ease your husbands’ stress by making him his favorite meal when he is low on cash. By doing this, you are lending him support and inspiring him to be better.
8. Do not leave his affairs to the maids.
If your husband is as important as you say he is, then make it your duty and yours only to serve him and tend to his needs. Do not assign a maid to him as he could become so used to them and choose the maids over you. Your husband would love you more when he sees the efforts you make in seeing to his welfare.
9. Show him love.
If you want your husband to love you more, make it your duty to give him a warm embrace when he returns. Help him undress and rub his back while he is having his shower. This would draw you two closer each day and help him save his energy for you.
10. Do not starve him sexually.
Most women make their husbands beg them before they agree to sleep with them. This is wrong! A man is expected to wake up with a hard on, be readily available for this. He may be too tired at night to lift a finger so touch him then till he gets the urge to drive into you.
11. Learn to pray for him.
While you do not like to be disturbed early in the morning, adapt to a new system of waking up while he gets up to dress for work. Pray for him and pray with him. It would give him a sense of assurance; he would also love you more for that. If there are other women apart from you, they would gradually lose their holds on him.
12. Encourage him to take care of his family members.
The woman is the home maker. While your husband is busy striving to put food on the table for you and your children, be a good partner by encouraging him to do so for his family too. His parents would respect you and speak for you when you have challenges. In cases where he cheats, he would always know deep down that you are an amazing woman that cannot be compared to other women out there.
13. Learn to say sorry when you are wrong.
Saying sorry saves you from further fights and arguments. As a woman, it may be up to you to let peace reign. Please, sorry and thank you are words we should learn to use always. Do not apologize grudgingly, do it with a gesture of affection.
14. Learn to say thank you.
There are so many things we can say thank you for each day. Find one of them, and be intentional. The difference between a great relationship and an okay one is so often just intentional.